David Sharp (chaosmastermind) wrote,
David Sharp
chaosmastermind

One day after the breakdown.

*sighs* I think I had a psychotic episode yesterday. The pressure of my life, and my job, the cruelty of my customers, the diabolical nature of the corporation I work for, and the inescapable doom that is my life.... finally got to me.. and I cracked.

Um.. there was a lot of thrashing and singing.. and noises.. and um... Whitney Houstin involved.. um.. I don't want to talk about it... *thinks back on it, and chuckles to himself* Oh man, am I fucked up... anyway, I've had about a half of a day to recover.. though I have been lashing out at people lately... mostly my family and friends. *sighs* These people.. they get on my nerves so bad. Sure, they profess to care about me, but they refuse to leave me alone when I need it. No wonder I want to kill them half of the time.

Alain called me an asshole today.. which is pretty extreme considering he practically worships me sometimes. He just wanted to chat with me.. or come visit, since he has to go for a long time in a couple weeks. He's joining Job Corp, and I probably won't see him for a long time. The truth is, I don't want to see him. I'm sick of everybody. I don't want to hang out with anyone. It pisses me off that people refuse to leave me alone when I need it. All I did was tell him to go away because I was trying to enjoy my weekend alone. Nobody understands the way I feel. *sighs deeply*.

Every day I am bombarded with people, their words, their problems, their inane chatter, their complaining, their demands, their bullshit. All day long, people turn to me to fix their issues, lower their bills, buy them lunch, let them borrow money, listen to their problems.... and most of all drop whatever I'm doing and pay attention to them indefinately.

They are stealing my life away from me. Forcing... yes.. FORCING me to do what they want against my will. Now, before you spew a big creamy load of bullshit about how it's my own fault, hear me out. You people don't understand what it's like to have people you know.. people you love.. people all around you all wanting you at the same time. Wanting you to do things with them, talk to them, eat with them, pay for them, sleep over, hang out, chat on the phone, chat on the net. It's getting so that I have NO time to myself. I can barely even sleep with World of Warcraft and all it's pressures and lures.

And every time I try to spend some time alone. Oh.. just a moment.. I have to go.. Dan is here to take me to a movie.
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